Gung-Ho to the future

As I said before, the renovations at work have slowed business right down, so most of my regulars have disappeared (along with my rapidly dwindling savings). So naturally I was surprised to see the return of Gung-Ho Guy the other night.

It had been an absolutely wretched night- dead as hell, only one private show and that was with a complete arse who would not stop bitching and moaning because I wouldn’t give him head. Normally, that would get him kicked out, but unfortunately the only guy serving behind the counter was a wet, ineffectual idiot who merely shrugged and looked apologetic while the bastard was ranting and carrying on. Curiously, he regained his spine in record time when I berated him for his lack of balls after that nightmare private show, yelling that I was not to tell him how to do his job. I wouldn’t have to if I thought he were capable of such a thing- but I digress. Like I said, utterly shit night, ten minutes til closing and who should show up in his usual booth but my favourite enthusiastic wanker.

“HEY!”

“Hey, sweetie. How are you?”

“I’M GREAT! CAN YOU COME UP TO THE WINDOW I’D LIKE TO SEE YOUR PRETTY FACE!”

I do so. I’m pleased to see he’s maintained his MO- clothes hung over the back of the door, arm braced against the wall for support as he jerks himself like he’s starting an unusually resistant lawn mower.

“CAN YOU SEE MY COCK?”

“Uh, I sure can.”

At this point I’m hopng he doesn’t want me to talk dirty to him. I’m terrible at it- not only do words fail me when I’m naked, but I start giggling uncontrolably.

“TELL ME YOU CAN SEE IT!”

“I can see it, sure, it’s right there. It, uh…it sure is big.”

“AARRGH TELL ME YOU CAN SEE MY COCK!”

Now I’m slightly concerned- is it possible that as a result of a gamma-infused condom his cock has become invisible to everyone but he and I? Are we bound together as some kind of horrible X-rated Justice League- Twobuck and Invisicock? Either that or the dude needs to go back in time and introduce his parents, pronto.

“TELL ME YOU CAN SEE MY COCK!”

“I CAN SEE YOUR COCK!”

“LOOK AT IT!”

“I AM LOOKING AT IT! I CAN SEE YOUR COCK!”

“AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHaaaahh.”

“…”

“THANKS THAT WAS AWESOME. I LIKE WHAT YOU’VE DONE WITH YOUR HAIR.”

“Um. Thank you.”

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12 Responses to “Gung-Ho to the future”

  1. He noticed your haircut? He sounds like a nice guy.

  2. I feel like Gung-Ho guy must be one of the coolest people in the world.

  3. Plustax Says:

    So was he actually speaking in an outside voice, or was that just for comedic effect? I really hope it’s the former.

  4. I would read a Twobuck and Invisicock comic.

  5. twobuck Says:

    Yeah, Gung Ho guy always speaks in HIS OUTSIDE VOICE. I dunno, something about the dude just exudes caps lock. I also just realised that gamma poisoning would make him Marvel, so we’d be an X-rated Avengers. My geek-fu is weak.

  6. This is completely hilarious. I want to tell you that you should space out your entries, so that way we don’t have to endure a two week drought of stories, but I admit when you updated, I was like “YAY THREE NEW POSTS”, so who am I to say?

  7. Come on, stop holding out on us here! You promised a full and graphic account of your exploits, yet you pointedly failed to tell us what you did with your hair.

  8. I say, dont space things out, just three new posts a day. FOREVER.

  9. Next time, say to him, “I like what you’ve done with your penis.”

    Eye for an eye and all that.

  10. To one-up Ryan, you could also try and relate to his pubes in some way by offering advice on styling gels or mousse of some sort…

    Actually, no. That’s somewhat disturbing.

  11. I think half way through you should have screamed ‘NO I CAN’T SEE IT WHERE DID IT GO OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT JUST DISAPPEARED’

  12. That man noticed you changed your hair. That goes a looooooong way in terms of gentlemanly-ness in my book.

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